A Must Read Funny Story About Bark Collars

So the neighbors had been complaining that my dogs had been barking non-stop. I hate the electric zapping bark collars so I purchased a humane citronella collar, that way when the dogs barked, it shot out a blast of citronella under their nose and they don't like it. This morning I was getting the collars ready and filled them with their stuff. And that's where my morning should have ended. But no, it's me, and I begin to become curious as to how said collars work. 

Now I'm standing on my back porch "barking" at my dog's collar. Nothing happens. I make sure it's turned on, check the fill level, and go through the "getting started" check list one more time. Again, I bark. Nothing happens. Now I'm not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did; I put on the collar. I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked. Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face. 

I began coughing, which only caused the collar to continue to squirt bug spray over and over into my nasal cavity.I'm now on my hands and knees in my back yard, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the dogs are now barking. So between coughing and yelling at the dogs to shut up, I've emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face. During all of this, I'm trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut during this whole fiasco.

I finally get the collar off and threw, yes I threw that crazy (inhumane) thing across the yard, and lay in the grass sucking in the cool morning air. In the middle of thinking this probably the dumbest thing I've done in a while, I hear laughter. MY NEIGHBOR SAW THE WHOLE THING! He was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Between gasps, he tells me,"I was gonna come help, but every time I started to climb over the fence, you'd set it off again and then I would started laughing and couldn't make it" So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too. After checking to make sure I was ok,we parted ways and I went in to shower so I wouldn't be smelling like ode de' Tiki Torch.

So lesson learned: next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) make sure that 1. Don't fill the collar before trying to set it off and B. Remember your neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation. On the plus side, I didn't have a mosquito problem for a few days!.....and now that even though this does sound like something I'd do I hate to break the news that it's a copied story that gave me a good chuckle so feel free to do the same😂😂😂

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